about me

back to blogging!!! wow, i havent posted for more than a month. i'm going to copy some of my posts from e free warriors blog, post 2 stories here, and tell u abt my OBS experience and my CTs!!! O: will try to add in some other stuff here and there :D

these are my posts from e free warriors blog, i copying them here bcos i realized that i dont have a personal copy of them with me, and i'm no longer in free warriors, so my posts may be deleted soon.

16/5/09

ok last nite was reading e bible - even though i honestly didn want to cos i was tired, admit it, u felt dis way b4 - and i was readin thru genesis.

i was feeling discouraged for various reasons, like various ppl blaming eve for original sin even though in essence it was e serpent's fault (sry i just cant stand misogyny). plus i havent exactly been a v "good christian", so i was feeling like God wasnt goin 2 speak 2 me abt anything.

den i read chapter 6 where it says in verses 7-8, "...I am grieved that I have made them. But Noah found favour in the eyes of the Lord." den i was thinking sth like dis: "God is probably grieved dat he created me. I swear all the time, & my behaviour is almost anti-christian. I want to find favour with him, but even if i tried it now, and he comes tomorrow, den i still wont be good enough."

den i dont know who said dis nxt, me or God or e holy spirit or wateva, but i distinctively thought: "yeah, but if u try, God will see that u tried, right?" & i actuali teared. wich shocked me. alot.

so fr now on, i'm going to try, reali hard, 2 be some1 who lives her life right for God, because i want God 2 see that i tried. so if u're feeling down bcos of persecution fr frens over ur faith, persevere & hang in there. or better still, hang on 2 God. cos he's watching u try, wherever u are, & he's gonna make sure u dat even if u slip, u dont fall.

20/5/09 ask, and you shall receive.

hello, let me start by sharing sth bro fuwei envisioned during church camp last yr. basically, he told me he saw me climbing over a mountain 2 reach God, & that when i reached, there would be a reunion between us.

so dat started a long chain of thoughts. "God, i'm tired, & i don't think i'm making any progress." "can i just give up? nth seems 2 be happening." but it also started my prayers. "God, help me reach you." "You have said, 'Draw near to me, and I will draw near to you', God, I believe that I will have an encounter with you."

e breakthrough came on e 16th of may, ignyte's 2009 worship experience service. it was almost as if i knew sth was gonna happen. b4 service started, while i was in e chapel with some other IH members, i was reluctant to speak & just wanted 2 be quiet.

i've always wanted 2 hear God's audible voice, but so far i havent heard anything. to me, hearing sth was e onli way 2 prove God's existence. i told myself, "other religions have bks too", thinking abt e bible. now, i realize dat all the time i was reading e bible, God has used his word 2 speak 2 me.

so, back 2 worship experience. while singing one of the songs, though my eyes were closed, i could picture a man smiling and nodding in approval. how did i know it wasnt just my own mind? when i close my eyes, i see a black background dat may or may not have coloured patterns on it. but wen i saw that man, he was mostly white and some parts of his face were coloured. when he nodded, i immediately thought of this: "But Noah found favour with God." "God will see that you tried." "God is proud of you for trying. Don't give up!" i didnt hear anything, but i saw a vision! i didnt ever think i could see a vision.

& during IH prayer b4 service, i remember praying for each IH member 2 receive a revelation fr God. so God answered my prayers, related to wat i'd read durin TAWG, & showed me a vision!

however, soon i began 2 doubt. wat if dat wasnt sth fr God? whatever my mind could conjure was banished when i read this. "Deuteronomy 33:29 He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword." Daphne smsed me 2 share dis verse with me, & i'm glad she did. God IS my glorious sword.

even after i'd almost lost the meaning of whatever God showed me, he sent someone 2 make sure i held on tight! praise the Lord!

28/5/09 pop [p]lease [o]ur [p]arents

hello

let me make this quick so i can go to sleep :D

ytd i got back my report bk. no, dont ask, it wasnt gd. obviously, my mom scolded me. naturally i was quite upset, but it was made worse bcos even for e subjects dat i did best in, i was criticised for not working harder & playing 2 much.

so ytd @ nite i did my TAWG. was reading e passage abt jacob getting isaac's blessing instead of esau (genesis 27). so basically wat dat passage says is dat rebekah, issac's wife, & mother of esau & jacob, wanted jacob 2 get e blessing instead of esau. so rebekah told jacob 2 trick isaac, & l8r jacob got e blessing. esau, though he did not receive isaac's initial blessing, received another set of words from his father. & esau was v angry wiv jacob & wanted 2 kill him, so jacob had 2 flee 2 haran.

so dis chapter taught me dat rebekah, though she wanted e best for her younger son jacob, didn exactly do e right thing. same for isaac, though he had alreadi blessed jacob, he stil blessed esau later. 2 me, that meant that though isaac made a mistake in blessing e wrong son, he stil wanted e best for esau & blessed him too. (jacob was rebekah's favourite, esau was isaac's favourite)

and so, i was happy and content in knowing dat my mom cared for me, but e way she showed her care wasnt exactly e most encouraging manner :D

den 2dae, i continued reading genesis chapter 28. it says dat rebekah didn want jacob to marry a canaanite woman. so jacob, under his father's instructions, went 2 paddan aram in search of a, well, non-canaanite woman for his wife. den esau, when he saw how much his father disliked e canaanite women, took another wife dat was not a canaanite.

dis showed me fr wat jacob did, dat we stil hav 2 obey our parents, even though we may feel hurt or upset by their actions or words. fr esau, i learned more. even though neither of his parents said a word abt e canaanite women to him, he took a non-canaanite for his wife. he reali wanted 2 indulge his parents and did wat was pleasing to them. so, even though he did not receive e best blessing fr his father (even though my mom said things dat were discouraging to hear), he still tried to please him (i shud try 2 please my mom by working harder nxt semester).

i guess this is a reali simple testimony. to go with it, i have a reali short song 2 share wiv u, pastor victor (then bro victor) changed 1 of e words...

i like you
i love you
i want all to see
without you jesus there would be no me
i wish i had a symphony
but my simple gift is me

this is my favourite praise song!!! pastor victor changed "jesus" fr "noah" (if u watch veggie tales, u'll know). haha.

30/5/09

hi! ytd sis kassey told us e 16 things that our buzz grp wants 2 work on during e nxt 6 months. then she asked us to share 2 out of e 16 things that each of us wants 2 achieve the most.

so this is my selection:
1. to have more people becoming SPs, getting water baptised & rising up
2. to do our TAWG daily

i'm reali hope that more ppl in free warriors will take a stand for God and live out their faith! so, that's why i chose my first option. becoming an SP is not just a position or a name, its saying that we want 2 care & connect our oikos to God. similarly, water baptism shows that u want 2 walk in Jesus's footsteps.

i also think dat doing our TAWG daily is reali important. just like how we need 2 eat every day - u cant eat 10kg of food 2dae & then not eat for e rest of e wk - u cant read e bible just during fuel/service & throw it aside for e rest of e wk. it doesnt work that way. or, u can think of it as brushing ur teeth. u have 2 do it evry day. TAWG is necessary.

yup, so these r the two things i'd like 2 achieve for e rest of e yr.

11/6/09

hi!!!

actuali, i'm supposd 2 be at 2 different places now (2 events clashed) but my mom didn giv me permission to go for either of them in e end, so i'm posting at home now. wow! i reali hav alotof things 2 share, so i'm gonna do it all at once. be prepared for a super looooooong post.

where shud i start? ok, let me share sth dat i've learned durin TAWG. i was readin thru my previous journal entries & doing a reflection. (abt once a wk, i like 2 reflect on wat i've written down instead of reading a whole new bible passage)

so dis was wat i came up with... (when i do my reflection, i dont write it in my journal, cos its annoying 2 keep having 2 flip e pages 2 read e previous entries, then flip them back 2 write down my thoughts, so i wrote dem on a separate piece of paper, & i'm trying 2 figure out wat i wrote down since i did it kinda messily)
1. Obey my mom.
2. Works of faith impact others.
3. Jesus called upon sinners, not the righteous.
4. Don't judge or condemn others.
5. Heart and mouth is one.
6. Luke 9:23 - If anyone would come after me, he must DENY HIMSELF and take up his cross daily and follow me.
7. Once you are in God's kingdom, do not look back.
8. Fear God, not men.
9. Acknowledge that I am a Christian.
10. ~There will be a time when your faith will be sorely tested~
11. Repent, or perish. The truth is hard to hear. Why do you think Jesus always starts off with, "I tell you the truth..."?
12. Jesus loves me.
13. Be humble.
14. Always pray, don't give up.
15. The passion will come when you hunger for Him.
16. If you are right, do not fear.
!!!a. Have faith like a child.
!!!b. When I am motivated to do things, don't think that its my own mindset, because it could be the Holy Spirit prompting me.

i think its a good idea 2 read thru wat u've written in ur journal aft each TAWG session and memorize e key pts of wat u've written. cos i realized dat dis wk, if i had memorized & kept each TAWG entry close 2 my heart, e nxt day i wud hav saved myself alotof problems.

i'm not sure if dis counts as a testimony, but i want 2 share it, so hear me out. ytd i went for rehearsal (u hav no idea how hard it is 2 dance while ur clothes r rubbing on2 ur sore skin - bleah sunburn) & bro fuwei spoke 2 me durin a break, den somewhere along e line, he mentioned spiritual attacks. & dat night i was super jumpy. bcos if u've experienced an attack b4, u'll neva want 2 go thru 1 again. it happend 2 me once, & i was afraid it'd happen again last nite. it didn quite help dat i'd seen "drag me to hell" adverts recently.

aft rehearsal, i got home, & while in e bathroom, i was reali scared. then while bathing, i thot of myself as a grasshopper in comparison 2 God (i think there's a verse in e bible dat says sth like dat, cant rem which verse). wich led me 2 think of e movie "a bug's life", wich features grasshoppers & ants. den i immediately thought of this: God is so big, i'm like a small grasshopper in comparison to Him. satan is like e ants, & i am a grasshopper. but dis time, e bird is on my side. (in reference 2 a bug's life - all e insects are scared of e bird) so if e bird is on my side, & e ants are scared of e bird, den wat is there 2 be afraid of? as i entered my room, there was no fear in my heart.

den wen i did my TAWG last nite, i came up with dis: He is an everlasting God, and delivers us from harm. i read wednesday's entry again as well: God blessed joseph so much that he was able to speak with pharoah, the king of egypt, openly without fear. & if joseph could speak 2 a king without fear, den i definitely do not hav 2 fear satan. after all, God delivers us from evil.

16/8/09 I'm Yours

hi! havent posted in, well, abt 2 months. was so busy!!! the word is overwhelmed. heex.

let me just type out wat i learned in sch and durin my TAWG last thurs.

in sch last thurs, during lit, my teacher was going on and on abt christianity (bcos we needed to use it to do some analyzing or explanation, wateva). and some of my classmates who werent christians had a hard time keeping up. den dis came to my mind: "Christianity had a large influence on Shakespearean culture. I believe that God is trying to help me in Literature."

believe me, my lit sux. so when that ran through my mind, i was (and am) really excited! macbeth is not really my thing. i'm more of a romance addict, chick lit, fantasy/supernatural book genre kind of person. not quite for e classics.

i went home and read Deuteronomy 1 during my TAWG.

1 These are the words Moses spoke to all Israel in the desert east of the Jordan - that is, in the Arabah - opposite Suph, between Paran and Tophel, Laban, Hazeroth and Dizahab. (Moses spoke to all Israel - God knows exactly what I'm doing, where I'm at, and what my intentions are.)
7 "Break camp": step out of your comfort zone, and "advance": move forward and be bold, trust in God. Go forth, set out to win territory for God.
8 See, I have GIVEN you this land. Go in and take possession of the land that the Lord swore he would give to your fathers - to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - and to their descendants after them. (God has already given us the harvest, which is our friends who will come to know God, all we have to do is to speak to them about God and pray that their hearts will be open.)
17 Do not show partiality in judging; hear both small and great alike. (self-explanatory)
19 dreadful desert: we must go through hardship to gain glory for God.
21 Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.
25 It is a good land that the Lord our God is giving us.
27-28 Do not lose heart, believe and trust in God, He is faithful.
29 God sends leaders to guide, instruct, direct and love us.
32 Trust in God. (God has already brought us so far, do not let ourselves be pulled away by our own thoughts or actions. There is no need to be the greatest or to perform the best, we just have to follow what God says.)

yup, dat's it. hope it has spoken to u :D

22/10/09 The Truth About Forever

this is an adapted post from my own blog, click here to read the original post "Mercy".

basically, i was complaining about my exam results in paragraph 1,

paragraph 2,

paragraph 3,

and paragraph 4. then, i decided to take note of life's better points...

like e fact that i got 23/30 for my eng compo. woots! now that is good. e teacher ticked every paragraph, didn make a single note on it at all, and gave it a 23. and for my eng situational writing, which i thought i would do badly for, i scored 22/30. that is a great reason to praise God! :D

what this all boils down to, is that no matter what happens, i'll always have me, my faith and God. and that's what counts right? *nods solemnly like how i always nod whenever e pastor says sth that makes sense*

today, while i was reading "The Da Vinci Deception" on e bus, i came across this analogy.
"Understandably, when Thomas asked Jesus, 'How do we know the way?' he received this clear answer: 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me' (John 14:6). A tourist walking across a desert asked a guide, 'Where is the path?' to which the guide replied, 'I am the path.' "

that makes a lot of sense to me, its like saying, "There's no path, but follow me, and I will lead you the right way, to where you want to go." i'll repeat it for you, the tour guide, Jesus, said, "I am the path. I will lead you. Trust in me." i know that someday i want to have a great job that will require me to use English extensively in speech or writing. even though through this round of exams, i may not have been the best student in the cohort, i will trust in Jesus to lead me to where i will be, to whatever career path i will take.

here's another testimony. i went to e toilet in my mom's room just now, and i saw "Our Daily Bread", a devotional book that my mom reads in e bathroom. i read today's entry, and nothing reali struck me. but then i read this, "Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way. Psalm 119:37." that is reali powerful! i should stop thinking about my exam results, which are worthless now that e exams are in over, and focus on God instead. Amen.

yup, my conviction stays strong. as long as i have God, my faith and myself, i'll be more than a conqueror through Him who gives me strength. Romans 8:37-39. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Phillipians 4:13 - I can do everything through him who give me strength. Amen!

oh, here's another testimony! i scored 94 for math, and i thank God for all that He has done for me!
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ok, that's it for all my posts on e free warriors blog, now i'm going to post my 2 stories.

i've posted this 1st story on e free warriors blog and e resonate blog, but i hope that it'll continue to encourage every1 so i've posted it here. (honestly, i cant remember if i did post it here b4, and i'm too lazy to check my entire archive, so i'll just post it now)

dis story was taken from http://www.word4life.com/threetrees.html

The Three Trees

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said, "I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!" The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on its way to the ocean. "I want to be travelling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I'll be the strongest ship in the world! The third little tree looked down into the valley below, where busy men and women worked in a busy town. "I don't want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me they'll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world."

Years passed. The rain came, the sun shone and the little trees grew tall. One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain. The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the first tree fell. "Now I shall make a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!" the first tree said.

The second wood cutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It's perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters!" thought the second tree. "I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!"

The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the woodcutter never even looked up. "Any kind of tree will do for me," he muttered. With a swoop of his shining axe, the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the wood cutter brought her to a carpenter's shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, or treasure. She was coated with saw dust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the wood cutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty sailing ship was made that day. Instead the once strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river. Instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the wood cutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" The once tall tree wondered. "All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God..."

Many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. "I wish I could make a cradle for him." Her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and sturdy wood. "This manger is beautiful," she said. And suddenly, the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening, a tired traveller and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveller fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and a thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She knew she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and the rain. The tired man awoke. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, "Peace." The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly, the second tree knew she was carrying the king of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten wood pile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hand to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God. That was better than being the tallest tree in the world.

The next time you feel down because you didn't get what you wanted, sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better to give you.

now for e 2nd story, which sarah posted on e resonate blog. there are many more inspiring stories and testimonies on the resonate blog and the free warriors blog.

28/2/10

THE PENCIL STORY
The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

“There are 5 things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.”

“One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone’s hand.”

“Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll need it to become a better pencil.”

“Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.”

“Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.”

“And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.”

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

YOU are the pencil!
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to sum up my entire OBS experience, i'm going to copy+paste something that i posted on e resonate blog.

11/2/10 Climbing A Monkey Puzzle Tree

hi!!! i'm going to share about my testimonies since OBS started. i was really stuck in my walk with God for more than a year, and at the last ignyte camp that i went for (radical), i didn experience any change at all. so i'm really thankful for my personal encounters with God.

at radical camp, bro fuwei prayed for me and said he saw that i was climbing up a mountain, and when i reached the other side where God was, i would experience great joy. i really hope that i've reached, or maybe there's more to come!

anyway, here's my testimony for u guys.

during my OBS on tues, the clouds were so dark that even the instructor asked us to move under shelter. i prayed that it would not rain because if it did, our tents would become wet and possibly flooded. God really answered my prayer. it didnt rain!

on wed, we went kayaking, and i put my spectacles in my bag between two towels. i prayed that my spectacles would not be broken. God provided me with my friend's glasses case abt 5 minutes later. i also prayed that i would not capsize, and i didnt even though e waves were quite strong at one point.

on thurs, we trekked for a total of abt 9 hrs, including e time taken to stop for lunch and some other breaks. i asked to be kept safe and uninjured, and to have e strength to continue walking. i walked for 13km without collapsing.

throughout e wk, i prayed that it wud not rain during e camp at all. i heard God telling me that if He did that, when i reached singapore, it would rain. sure enough, i walked home in e rain on fri.

i did not do tawg on fri bcos i was very tired and upset. on sat, i was reading andrew's post abt not sleeping until we did our tawg. i believe that was God's reminder to me to be consistent with tawg.

on monday, i had shooting for my cca. just to let u guys know, i cant shoot for peanuts. e rifle will go haywire in my hands. for e 1st round, i had a grouping of abt 247cm (the lower the better, people were getting abt 20cm) and only 1 shot hit the computerized target. that's usually what happens every cca shooting practice. in e nxt round, after i prayed, God improved my grouping to abt 30cm, and i managed to hit 5 out of 7 targets, both of which i have never achieved before.

yup, i just want to encourage every1 with this post b4 i go to malaysia in abt... 5 hrs because my mom wants to beat the traffic. cya arnd!
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hahaha if u're still reading until here, u must be super annoyed by all e "previous posts", and e lack of anything new that i'm telling u. so, here comes e CT part! XD i thought i wasnt going to do well for many subjects, but God really helped me thru, and i found e papers manageable.

i'm also officially off facebk unless ppl tag my photos, and i wont spend more than 10 minutes there. i'm not really into mylifeisaverage.com anymore, though i still love e website. facebk is getting boring to me. however, i am now stuck on BLOGSHOPPING!!! okay, that's it for today. bye!

Quote 2 remember: Each one of us can do a little to bring some portion of misery to an end.

~thx 4 reading!~